April 01 2010
It has come to the attention of the Ministry of Sound that two of the most notorious gangs known to the establishment, The Bloody Beetroots and The Aston Shuffle have formed an unholy alliance which threatens to send the good citizens of Club Land into total anarchy.
In circumstances never before witnessed these two musical masterminds have created a weapon of unparalleled power known only by the name DESTROY. Possessing unprecedented sonic powers including the ability to melt the ears of the people of Club Land, intelligence suggests that the weapon will be implemented in a matter of weeks.
A statement made last night on behalf of the Alliance revealed alarming details:
“DESTROY isa musical force more hazardous than anything known to man, openly divulging the most reckless side of electro with two discs of razor sharp tracks. Drawing from an international network of co-conspirators including Boys Noize, D.I.M. & Tai, Kid Sister, Harvard Bass, Cassian, Simian Mobile Disco, Felix Da Housecat, Metronomy, Tiga and Proxy, DESTROYis the Alliances’ most deadly creation to date.”
Citizens are asked to exercise extreme caution in the coming weeks as it has been reported that underground supporters of the Destroy movement are infiltrating Club Land to further the Alliance’s reign of terror.
The Bloody Beetroots remain at large, most recently sighted at a remote European location. However, an anonymous tip off confirmed that The Aston Shuffle will be embarking on a sonic onslaught at select locations around the country this April.
After a reckless spree of illustrious remix work and a merciless radio invasion, The Aston Shuffle currently rank at #1 on The Ministry of Sound Justice Department Most Wanted list. Hailed by their followers as heroic outlaws for their blatant disregard of mainstream music conventions, The Aston Shuffle show no signs of ending their reign, with a debut release rumoured to be unleashed later in 2010.
But vying for the position of public enemy #1 is the elusive Bloody Beetroots. With an arsenal including the notorious Awesome and Warp which destroyed Australian radio in 2009, theirs is a story of alter-egos with an obsession for ruthless electro. This lawless faction is charged with responsibility for the current wave of anarchic underground tracks currently taking the world by storm alongside their numerous DIM MAK accomplices.
OUT APRIL 9